Okay, I give the F*ck up. I am waving the white flag.

Today we had an U/S to see what we had brewing in there. In the first 10 seconds I knew we had a problem. Dr. M’s brow furrowed and he he said you are taking Estrace, right? Your lining is still really thin. ( It was so bad he didn’t even tell us the number )

Okay, thin lining’s can be perked up. However, it was very strange given we started the Estrace a full day early this cycle and we have been adding home remedies to combat this. Next we heard the cyst is completely resolved, good news. But then the brow furrowed up again.

Of the 4 antral follies we found on CD2 3 are developing. Sounds good, right? Nope. As of today, CD13, they are 10’s and 9’s. Not even half of what they need to be on a Clomid cycle. WTF?

Even Dr. M was baffled. He actually sighed and sat down on a chair. She is a tough one he says. The he tells us we have two possibilities; one, this cycle is a bust=no response or two, we wait and see if they grow. Then he did something interesting. He looked directly at me and waited, saying nothing.

You gotta love the guy. He knew that I wasn’t going for either of those so he just waited to see what I would ask for instead. It was kind of amusing. I told him we didn’t want to waste the 3 follies we had and asked if we could add in some Follistim to boost them. No joke people, he smiled then laughed and said he considered suggesting that but wasn’t sure how we would react to more injectables. I can’t decide if he is afraid of me, hates me or respects that fact that I have done my homework. The plus side, he gave us 300IU of Follistim, our gift with visit, like the Lancome counter.

We do 100IU of Follistim a night until Wednesday when we have yet another vag cam viewing. He has us injecting on the upper/outer arm this time so I have to give S the shots every night. Good times.

I am staying pretty calm as is S but I am really ready to say F*uck it. No matter what we do or don’t do we get screwed every cycle. Miss perfect cyle is now a medical mystery! It’s not her fault, I know she is confused and frustrated too.

Maybe the universe is telling us to give it up already.

If you pray or send good vibes and have any to spare, please send us some good thoughts for Wednesdays scan. I really really really need to hear some good news. Thanks

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