I used to complain about how bored I was, how nothing interesting ever happened. I longed for a bit of excitement….. never again.

Let me give you some background info. I have been out of work for a few months. Even though it has sucked financially for my mental health, it was a gift. At the time we considered taking a  TTCbreak but crunched numbers and decided to continue. We assumed I would find a new job and we knew our housing situation was stable.

Well, finding a job has been nearly impossible. This hasn’t helped the stress levels much  and meant that if S decided to take a break from TTC I couldn’t begin so a total break would be in effect. The thought of all those wasted eggs and fertile months scared us so we continued.

In the middle of job hunting and IUI-ing we got the horrifying news that we had to move. How I wish I could tell you the details, it’s appalling and probably illegal but we are out of energy to fight anyone.

So, to recap, no job for me, no house for us and we hear this news at 7DPO. Oy vey. Minor hysteria, lots of crying and carbs. I even sent a desperate email to our Rabbi demanding to know what G-d was thinking. A very bad week.

We began the search for a new apartment and found mostly crap. I was getting so discouraged and, since no one knows we are TTC, hearing lots of well a one bedroom if you have to for now. Double oy vey.

We were really in a bad place but something told us to get up and go look a little further west. It’s a beautiful city and while we go there to shop we hadn’t considered living there, until we toured some properties. BEAUTIFUL! Peaceful, spacious. We were hooked.

We applied and are waiting to hear if it’s ours or not. The good news, S will make more money if we move there and I can focus my job hunt to our actual neighborhood. Even better, it’s plenty big should a baby decide to join us.

It dawned on me that all these months of utter crap might have been leading us here. Somewhere we would be a lot happier, have a lot more room and enjoy our home for a change. Maybe this is why I didn’t find a job out here, maybe this is why the past cycles ended the way they did. Maybe, just maybe, things are looking up.

I am praying we will get accepted, I know if we do everything else will fall into place. We should hear sometime today.

BTW, it’s CD 31 and no sign of you know who. Even on progesterone supps S has never had a cycle last this long. It was a late O so we aren’t testing yet. For now we are just saying that it’s “interesting”.

No matter what happens, the next few weeks are going to be a rollercoaster ride.

If you have any prayers, apartment/job/baby dust, good thoughts etc. to spare I will gladly take them.

Rosh Hashanah is a few days away, it would be a blessing to start the New Year with such joyful, hopeful hearts.

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