S and I are trying to decide when to TTC again. Who will try? When? What donor? What clinic?

 S goes back and forth between wanting a break and going again. I am starting to get antsy about trying. I was supposed to go first and when we agreed she would start it was supposed to be three tries and then switch. She has had 7 tries over 8 or 9 months.

As much as I would like to try now I have to job hunt and I am pretty sure those two things do not mix. S wants to stay on a break until I find a job. Totally logical and probably the right thing to do. However, I am not at all logical about this anymore. I am so tired of waiting, being disappointed and spinning our wheels while everyone moves on. Even in blogland we are getting left behind.

The one thing we know for sure, no more Dr. M. He was a colossal waste of time, money, energy and precious fertile time. We are fortunate to now live seconds from an amazing clinic with great RE’s and track records. We are even more fortunate to know someone who will help get us in there sooner and perhaps give us a break financially. We will see.

As far as donor’s go.. we have two vials of our last donor on ice but we have no qualms about finding a new one. I have already begun the hunt.

I am trying really hard to get back on track with my medication and vitamins. I figure I should be ready when they call my number, right?

I hate sitting still. I want to be trying, peeing on sticks, giving shots, having ultrasounds. It feels like every day we do nothing TTC related we move further and further away from having a family.

So, to combat that terror, I have decided to do something TTC related daily. Yesterday I took all my meds and vitamins. Today I will be calling the sperm bank to inquire about several donors.

Moving forward, inch by tiny inch. Eventually we will get there, we will have our baby.

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