S and I are still going back and forth about what to do next.
We cannot manage the fees with the new clinic just yet so we are on hold there. We still have two vials on ice with the awful Dr. M. We have discussed doing a natural TI cycle with the two remaining vials next month.
We could; 1 try at home, though IUI samples aren’t great for that or, 2 suck it up and see Dr. M one last time. Actually, there is a secret choice 3, we could save those vials for when we can start at the new clinic.
All of these ideas sound crappy to me. I feel like none of them offers us a real chance. I am getting so frustrated and antsy. I feel like we are falling behind, losing momentum and hope by the second. I feel like there are signs everywhere that something is going to happen. I just don’t know what or when.
A few months ago someone posted a link for a free BPA free baby bottle. I never sign up for bay related freebies. I assumed it would jinx us. HA! I signed up and this weekend we got our little package. I just kind of stare at it, wondering if I will ever need it.
I bought a friend of mine some baby clothes and they are hanging in our closet. Tiny and perfect. I keep trying to make myself send them to her but I can’t seem to part with them.
I keep dreaming about positive pregnancy tests, labor and babies.
Today I called and requested information about becoming a foster parent. We talked about doing this some time ago but I finally pushed the subject. I have nothing but time since I am not working and more love to give than I know what to do with. I will confess that I wanted to hear that I could do all the paperwork rigth this very second but… it’s a county agency. It will be a month before I can even attend the informational meeting. Meanwhile, all these kids have nowhere to go for the holidays. They could be with us instead.
Everything is moving at a snails pace, everything except time, which I feel is running out for us. I cannot be childless anymore. I just can’t.
So, choices 1, 2 and 3. What would you do?
Wishinghopingpraying's Weblog 
Hmm – well, as you asked, I’ll say I think I’d go with number 2. I know that Dr M was fairly hopeless in a lot of ways (understatement) but honestly, sometimes these things just take time and there just aren’t any guarantees. You could just have been unlucky so far, despite his incompetence, not always because of it. An IUI would give you the best chance of pregnancy this month out of those 3 options and if you’re anything like we were, you’ll HATE having to take a break. If your finances can stretch to it, go for it – you never know…. Good luck with whatever you decide. vee xx
Unless I’m missing something, you have IUI vials available and want to try at home? Can’t you do an IUI yourself at home then? We were heading in that direction ourselves, so that’s what I would choose.
I would go with choice 2. Doing an IUI at home would require a bit of training and isn’t easy to do (even assuming it’s pre-washed). As an anecdote–which I know is not evidence of any sort–I have a friend who tried it. She said it was a lot more difficult than they expected, and much less stressful on both partners to have the doctor do it. I know you’ve had issues with Dr. M, but one last visit might end up being the last you’d need.
Good luck!
Despite the challenge of an at-home IUI, I know couples who have tried it successfully. It just takes some research and some practicing with a speculum 😉
If you think that you and S can work together to make an at-home insem work, why not? That said, you’d have to fully trust yourselves on the timing and thawing and preparation and the IUI itself. As long as you wouldn’t go round and round questioning every step, it might be rather magic. (Side note, can you do an ICI instead of an IUI… maybe safer and easier to perform?)
Myself, I would go for option three, because: 1) M and I would drive each other nuts trying at home so it wouldn’t be magical or relaxed AT ALL. 2) I’m hooked on having a follicular u/s and trigger shot. They help me feel in control of the only variables that can be controlled (follicle production/count and ovulation timing). 3) I wouldn’t go to a clinic that you can’t trust. If going there will cause you stress, don’t.
I notice that you have more than three options, though… you’re also looking into foster parenting. A loving fourth option that wouldn’t have to preclude any of the first three. When you wrote “… I have more love to give than I know what to do with,” my heart broke a little.
I hope that you are parents soon. I’m rooting for you and wishing that you didn’t feel stuck in quicksand at the moment.
I wish I could give you a magical answer… but I can’t, and instead I’m sending positive vibes. I’m sure, in your hearts, you both know which choice is best for you.
I have a hard time offering advice here as I feel like I am in the exact same spot and looking for answers myself. I guess all I can say is go with your gut and know that things usually happen as they are meant to. No matter how much we try, or how much we hope to manipulate the process, we ultimately have very little control and just have to do the best we can. I agree about the home IUI though. Cat has been taught by our Doc how to do it and it’s not really difficult, it just takes some supplies and practice. Leave me a comment if you want to chat about it.
This whole thing is a gamble. Some friends of mine who were dealing with fertility issues finally took their money and went to Vegas.
Do what ever makes you feel the least crazy and will give you the feeling that you are moving forward. Set up a plan for the next steps. Then even if you can’t afford it right now, you will know what you are aiming for.
Good luck!! I am hoping for you.