Still Excited! Thursday, Jan 8 2009 

First, thank you, thank you, thank you for your wonderful, kind and supportive comments. You made my day!

For those of you that asked questions, here is the scoop. We are just fostering, not adopting.  We can change our minds though. We are required to complete 24 hours of training, we have already done 3.  While training we can get everything else done; fingerprints, health screening, home visit etc. We will likely take children under the age of 5, though S can’t seem to make up her mind. We will see.

For fun, and to soothe S’s fears, I hopped onto the T.ar.get site and did a little faux shopping. I added to my cart everything I thought we would need to get the room ready for our home visit. I “bought” basic, but attractive, safe and well-reviewed items. Everything from crib to travel system to bottles and first aid. I threw in some basic baby toys, bedding, rails for a toddler bed even a nifty gadget that tests the temp of the bathwater. I added neutral colored onesies and sleep sacks, eco-friendlier diapers and wipes, a bathtub, organic washcloths, even a highchair. It took forever but when I was done my total was only around $1600. Not bad. I was pleasantly surprised. S wouldn’t admit it, but I think she was too. I think she just worries that we need all of this stuff ASAP. As soon as we have it we can do our home visit!

We are still TTC. My appointment is still on with the super, new , uber fancy, famous Dr. B on Monday. I am still terrified and honestly haven’t a clue how we will afford to set up a nursery and pay oop for meds and treatment. I, however, believe in miracles and fully expect one to show up sometime soon. Now would be good.

I refuse to give up the dream. I know I will find a way to make this work.

Failure is not an option.

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The View From Here Thursday, Jan 8 2009 

Excited.

There is a word I haven’t used much lately. I am actually excited.

Orientation went well. We got all the paperwork and info we need to get things started. I must say that sitting in a classroom-like setting for 3 hours can be very amusing. There is always one person who makes things take 100 times longer because they ask weird questions and there is always one who looks confused no matter what is being said.  They made us giggle like 10th graders the whole time. The uber metrosexual gay couple was pretty obvious and no one seemed confused about their relationship. We, however, got confused looks. When we asked if we had the correct number of forms one woman asked us if we lived in the same house. Nope! Seperate homes, the secret to a great marriage. Oy. Maybe we should come to these things wrapped in a rainbow flag clutching Melissa Etheridge albums?? At least we got a good laugh out of it.

So, here it is. If we do everything we need to, and none of it is hard in case you were wondering, we will be licensed by the end of February. We could, theoretically, have a child in our home the March. A baby! In our house! OMG!

S is still pretty conflicted about it. She feels defeated and is kind of touchy about the subject. She is going to all the trainings and getting licensed but I know she is having a hard time with it.

I am just excited. I think it’s great opportunity to help a child in need and fill the empty space in our home and hearts, even if just for a little while. We will still try for biological children, nothing is making us give that up. This is just another step along the way. I think this will make us better people, I really do.

We will need to have the room set-up for our home visit. So even though we don’t know what’s coming or when; we need a crib, stroller, carseat etc. It’s a big initial expense but I assured S we would find the best deals possible, friends may have gently used items for us etc. There is no baby shower or registering for foster parents! Plus, in all honesty, it would be really, really painful to have a nursery full of perfect, new, dream furniture and no dream baby to put in it.

I spent the last half  hour standing in the doorway of the extra room, just staring at what, for the first time, in a long time, looked a lot like possibility.

It was beautiful.