First, thank you, thank you, thank you for your wonderful, kind and supportive comments. You made my day!

For those of you that asked questions, here is the scoop. We are just fostering, not adopting.  We can change our minds though. We are required to complete 24 hours of training, we have already done 3.  While training we can get everything else done; fingerprints, health screening, home visit etc. We will likely take children under the age of 5, though S can’t seem to make up her mind. We will see.

For fun, and to soothe S’s fears, I hopped onto the T.ar.get site and did a little faux shopping. I added to my cart everything I thought we would need to get the room ready for our home visit. I “bought” basic, but attractive, safe and well-reviewed items. Everything from crib to travel system to bottles and first aid. I threw in some basic baby toys, bedding, rails for a toddler bed even a nifty gadget that tests the temp of the bathwater. I added neutral colored onesies and sleep sacks, eco-friendlier diapers and wipes, a bathtub, organic washcloths, even a highchair. It took forever but when I was done my total was only around $1600. Not bad. I was pleasantly surprised. S wouldn’t admit it, but I think she was too. I think she just worries that we need all of this stuff ASAP. As soon as we have it we can do our home visit!

We are still TTC. My appointment is still on with the super, new , uber fancy, famous Dr. B on Monday. I am still terrified and honestly haven’t a clue how we will afford to set up a nursery and pay oop for meds and treatment. I, however, believe in miracles and fully expect one to show up sometime soon. Now would be good.

I refuse to give up the dream. I know I will find a way to make this work.

Failure is not an option.

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