I no longer feel like climbing into a deep, dark hole.  I did  add a password to that post during a fit of total paranoia last night. The password is a medication used when TTC, unscramble or email EIPMTORUMR.

Why the sudden change you ask? Well, friends of ours  got a placement this weekend. I will admit to very mixed feelings at first. But then I saw them with the baby. It was beautiful and amazing. That child was meant to be with them. They had already bonded and already looked like a family.

The whole thing restored my faith in this process. The child that should be with us will be with us, eventually. We will look like a family too one day soon.

Even if we don’t adopt I know that we will have made a difference in the life of a child. No matter how sad I get or discouraged I feel, changing a childs life, even for a little bit, is a gift that will see me through whatever makes my heart ache.

I feel a little bit of peace on this pretty Spring day and that too is a gift.