There is a word I haven’t used much lately. I am actually excited.

Orientation went well. We got all the paperwork and info we need to get things started. I must say that sitting in a classroom-like setting for 3 hours can be very amusing. There is always one person who makes things take 100 times longer because they ask weird questions and there is always one who looks confused no matter what is being said.  They made us giggle like 10th graders the whole time. The uber metrosexual gay couple was pretty obvious and no one seemed confused about their relationship. We, however, got confused looks. When we asked if we had the correct number of forms one woman asked us if we lived in the same house. Nope! Seperate homes, the secret to a great marriage. Oy. Maybe we should come to these things wrapped in a rainbow flag clutching Melissa Etheridge albums?? At least we got a good laugh out of it.

So, here it is. If we do everything we need to, and none of it is hard in case you were wondering, we will be licensed by the end of February. We could, theoretically, have a child in our home the March. A baby! In our house! OMG!

S is still pretty conflicted about it. She feels defeated and is kind of touchy about the subject. She is going to all the trainings and getting licensed but I know she is having a hard time with it.

I am just excited. I think it’s great opportunity to help a child in need and fill the empty space in our home and hearts, even if just for a little while. We will still try for biological children, nothing is making us give that up. This is just another step along the way. I think this will make us better people, I really do.

We will need to have the room set-up for our home visit. So even though we don’t know what’s coming or when; we need a crib, stroller, carseat etc. It’s a big initial expense but I assured S we would find the best deals possible, friends may have gently used items for us etc. There is no baby shower or registering for foster parents! Plus, in all honesty, it would be really, really painful to have a nursery full of perfect, new, dream furniture and no dream baby to put in it.

I spent the last half  hour standing in the doorway of the extra room, just staring at what, for the first time, in a long time, looked a lot like possibility.

It was beautiful.